Salsa City Forum » Salsa Music and Dance » Asking for a Dance

Am older now - that picci was taken three yrs ago.

It reminded me of Superman 2...

Picture

Hmmm - not funny.

Where are you're photos then!?!

Aw, sorry. No offense meant, honestly.

There are very few pictures of me on the internet. I'm too ugly to risk people's camera lenses, and far too ugly to risk people's eyeballs by posting links. Still, if you're ever around, I'm the chubby ginger bird with the tattoos that can't dance. :-)

Right - I'll be keeping my eye out for Ya!

It’s OK for a friend, someone you know and dance with regularly, to grab you. Anyone you don’t know should ask politely, and be aware, if you are talking or otherwise occupied, that they may be interrupting. I was always taught that it took a lot of guts to ask us so I should always dance with whom ever did so. I used to do this but have since had bad knees and will not dance every dance unless I am working and it’s required that I do so because I can think of nothing worse than a teacher saying no to a pupil. However you guys ask, please be aware that some of us who say maybe the next one or I need to rest really do need to rest and really will dance with you the next song if you come back. I don’t think there’s a wrong way to ask but there are some guys who are lecherous and come to salsa just to try to grope women. When I’ve had to use all my strength to keep a guy at bay, to the extent that I think he should be in pain, and he asks me again I say no. Even then I feel guilty. If I ask a guy to wait I will often come and look for him. Although I don’t have the best of memories I try not to upset anyones ego. It’s never nice if you feel someone doesn’t want to dance with you, but please be aware that there is a social aspect of salsa and sometimes us girlies just want to chat for a bit, please don’t take offence.

Some guys use the supposed ‘rule’ of women never turning down a dance to take liberties. Of course the woman can say no, whether the reason is that she wants a break, she’s busy chatting, or the guy is a creep!

It’s better to have a straight (pleasantly delivered) refusal than to get a yes and then have the woman making it obvious all through the dance that she’d rather be somewhere else.

If you don’t want to dance with a guy, be honest - unlike the woman I met in Glasgow who said “I’m having a rest” and walked straight over to someone else and asked him for a dance!

Well that’s just rude and there are some who will do that. It is hard when you are resting and a good mate asks you to dance when sometimes you hadn’t wanted to get up you suddenly want to dance with them because its them. But I would never do that, if I rest for a track I rest reguardless of who ever else asks me to dance and would never be so rude. Yes we have the right to say NO but not without good reason. It is nice to try to accept and acknowledge that it sometimes takes people a lot of courage to ask, and they can feel intimidated, so be kind.