Salsa City Forum » Salsa Music and Dance » Perv-free zones?

Dad

My 16-year old daughter is keen to take up salsa. Which beginners’ classes have the fewest creeps? I know most guys on the scene are OK but there are some people around who I wouldn’t want anywhere near her.

Alun
Member

A reasonable concern for a father, but perhaps not the best way of going about it. If anyone actually names a class, what does that then do to the largely decent people who attend?

Wouldn’t a better approach to be to identify any unacceptable behaviour, either challenging the individuals concerned or reporting it to the teacher/promoter? I’m sure all teachers would want to be kept informed of unwelcome behaviour and would seek to do something about it.

Your daughter’s more pressing issue is whether she can find a class catering to under-18s. Other discussion threads have covered this.

Dad

Alun, that’s why I asked people to nominate good classes rather than bad ones.

Overtly unacceptable behaviour is fairly rare, it’s general sleaziness/creepiness I’d like to avoid - and I’m sure every woman who’s been dancing for a while can think of a few examples of that.

Alun
Member

Sorry, my mistake, although the point still stands. Other classes would be tarred by comparison or ommission. Apart from that, I don’t think you can expect to draw conclusions of this nature, particularly as the population of classes, in particular beginners, is so fluid.

The only constants are the teacher and venue, so perhaps what you need to hear is reassurance from teachers that they manage behaviour in their classes?

Of course, you might need to be more specific about what you mean by creepy and sleazy. Some might argue that its not the behaviour which defines it, but whether it is welcome from a specific individual or not.

Dad

Actually, you’re right about beginners’ classes. Thinking about it, the real issue is the handful of guys - none of whom are any good as dancers - who hang around in the free dancing looking for attractive young beginners to fling around and patronise. I do know of women who’ve been put off salsa completely by these people.

Bob

Ah well. I tend to join in the beginners’ class to provide an extra man, as they are nearly always short. If any of the beginners stay till the free dancing afterwards I always ask them for a dance, whether they are 16 or 60. I struggle with these beginners and I probably look completely incompetent. Some ladies asked to dance with me during the free style periods when I first started and it improved my dancing and leading beyond anything I learnt in the classes.

I didn’t realise this was considered sleazy, patronising or creepy. I’ll just stick to the intermediate classes and the experienced dancers during the free style.

Going to a salsa night is no worse than going to any other activity in a pub/club and normally a lot better. There tends not to be a lot of alcohol drunk because dancing whilst drunk or dancing with someone who is drunk just does not work. The dancing finishes late and I think your daughter will be at more risk getting home rather than whilst at the club. If you/she takes the same precautions as any other night out such as going with a friend and leaving with the same friend I would have thought she would be fine. At 16 she will know who she feels uncomfortable with and does not have to dance with them after the classes.

Dad

Bob, please don’t take it personally. There is nothing at all wrong with the behaviour you have described as helping out in the beginners’ class and dancing with beginners is to be welcomed.

I was referring to a small number of older men who only pick on the attractive young beginners and who criticise women’s dancing from a position of ignorance (none of them are any good as dancers themselves). I’ve heard enough stories about guys being rude, rough, or actively sleazy to know that these people can put women off dancing.

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