Blackout,
Welcome to Salsa. ... It will get slightly more difficult and then it will get better. In the meanwhile, lead her gently during class as you learn the moves (refrain from tensing arms completely).
I try to keep it simple and think either
1. My left hand is on top or
2. My right hand is on top
For patterns beginning with simple crossed hands
The second trick is to watch (or ask) the instructor which hand is doing more leading from a crossed hand position. Often the beginners miss this and focus on the hand which seems to be over her head and moving in a small circle. Often its the lower hand, which is closer to her “center” that gives a good portion of the lead. (This rule isn’t hard and fast, but as you learn, it really can help)
Be patient, enjoy learning, have fun, don’t hurt her.
PAS